Burlesque (2010)

Despite the critics' thrashing (37% on rottentomatoes vs. 76% for audiences, yet #11 at the box office), Amy, Jack, and I enjoyed the lush sets, the sexy production numbers, and the scanty costumes (oh, that beaded bikini!). And those girls can belt out a number. Christina Aguilera first came to my attention when she sang in Martin Scorsese's Rolling Stones documentary Shine a Light (2008), in which her throaty four octave range brought a tear to my eye. I later found out that Amy had many of Aguilera's pop hits on her computer upstairs, and I just realized tonight that Aguilera was one of the singers on Lil' Kim's remake of Patti Labelle's Lady Marmalade (one and two videos where Ms. A blows away her soul sisters as soon as she opens her mouth).

I don't mean to slight Ms. Sarkisian, because Cher (acting Oscar for Moonstruck (1987), nomination for Silkwood (1983), and a Best Actress award at Cannes for Mask (1985), all of which I loved, along with The Witches of Eastwick (1987)) still has the pipes to carry a few songs, one of which has been nominated for three awards so far. And she was quite funny on Letterman, when she walked right by Dave to hug a guy in the audience who had previously been shown running home to shower and change when he heard Cher was going to be on the show. Jack said it's a miracle she can still open her mouth after all her plastic surgery. It looks like Aguilera has also spent some time in the operating room. Co-star Stanley Tucci (I wrote about him in Julie & Julia and The Lovely Bones) is playing basically the same role he did in The Devil Wears Prada (2006), but I don't care; I liked him then and I like him now. TV-star alert: Eric Dane of Grey's Anatomy plays a McSteamy kind of guy (with an enviable crib), Dianna Agron (disgraced cheerleader Quinn in Glee) has a cameo as fiancée Natalie, and the multi-talented Alan Cumming (lately Eli Gold on The Good Wife, and you must see The Anniversary Party (2001)) playing a part too much like the Emcee he portrayed in the 1998 Broadway revivial of Cabaret.

Actor/writer Steven Antin (he does not act in this one) makes his feature directing debut, and after reading his writing credits (the 1999 Sidney Lumet remake of John Cassavetes' 1980 Gloria, which was good, and Chasing Papi (2003), which was very funny), I'm surprised that this story isn't better. That's the reason the critics have trashed it: the story is thin, just like the stars (both are seriously lacking in flesh below the rib cage). I doubt that it will win best Golden Globe musical or comedy over Alice in Wonderland, The Kids Are All Right, Red, or The Tourist. But we had a good time watching the spectacle (though all three of us checked our phones from time to time). For those of you in my metropolitan area, I believe it's going to be at only one theatre starting Wednesday, so allow extra time for mall parking in December. I would have seen this sooner because I liked the trailer, but we saved it for Amy, as we all love musicals. If you love musicals, too, don't miss this one, either at the mall or at home in a few months.